


When You're Ready

by Swellwriting



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Forced Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25924135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swellwriting/pseuds/Swellwriting
Summary: Draco x Reader Forced marriage au that follows the two through the early years. Young love turned sour.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Reader
Kudos: 92





	When You're Ready

**Author's Note:**

> Fandom: Harry Potter
> 
> Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader
> 
> Request: Hi, hey, hello, how ya doin'? If you do blurbs/one-shots/imagines/fics could you do a Draco one with the song "When you're ready" by Shawn Mendes, please? Thanks.
> 
> Warnings: angst, Draco being an arse...so the usual
> 
> A/N: The type of fic where ideas keep popping into my head and i can’t write them as fast as they are born. “Draco cried” like he did every night, that emo bitch with no healthy coping mechanisms.
> 
> Word Count: 3.8k

You were Draco’s from the young age of five, that was when your families decided you would marry. Long before you knew the premise of marriage or the weight the word held.

But if someone told you then, at the age of five that you would have to spend the rest of your life with Draco, you would have been ecstatic. He was your best friend why wouldn’t you wanted to be with him forever, no thoughts of love or how he would change in the future clouded your mind.

You were ten when you started being unable to stand his presence, he was still your best friend, only friend. But he had been spending too much time with his father, learning the family ways, he wasn't the same boy you knew before he had been tainted. He was growing to be rougher around the edges but his soft spot for you never left him. When in a room filled with past death eaters and people too posh to even crack a smile he would look at your from across the large dinner table, you'd already been staring at him waiting for him to notice. Nothing had to be said between the two of you for you to have to fight to hold back laughter; like he had told a joke and you were the only ones laughing.

You were twelve when you got on the train together, got sorted into Slytherin together. He quickly made friends with similar ideals as him, he quickly made enemies with the Potter boy. The boy that you took a liking to when he and Hermione noticed you sitting alone in the library and didn't question sitting down with you. They didn't care about the colour of your tie or the fact that you were often seen with Draco, never seen with him and his friends though. They told you that the only time Draco wasn't unbearable was when he was with you, you laughed as they jokingly thanked you. You sadly stated that he was your best friend, your only friend and Hermione smiled as she opened her textbook and said, “not anymore.”

You were thirteen when he yelled at you in front of both of your families, telling them you barely saw him at Hogwarts once you started hanging around with Potter and the Mudblood. You slapped Draco that night after he said that about Hermione. Draco cried, like the baby he was and you sat next to your mother as you listened to both of your fathers argue in the other room. Lucius yelled that the marriage was off if you couldn't learn to control yourself, if you didn't learn your place. 

Narcissa apologized to you that night, she admitted to a thirteen-year-old girl that her fears had come true, that Draco was learning too much from his father. She begged you to not give up on him, for you still had almost five years until you were eighteen, five years until you would have to marry him.

She ensured you he would be different as he matured, you hoped she was right because the Draco you saw now, the one that showed no compassion to you anymore, like he did when you were younger, you didn't want to live a life with him.

You were fifteen when he asked you to the Yule Ball, when you said no which prompted him to angrily huff, yell obscene things at you and Hermione as she squeezed your hand, thankful Ron and Harry weren't there to witness it. The next morning you would get a letter from your mother, pleading for you to take back your answer, to go with him to the dance. For the sake of your father, for not putting him in a bad place with the Malfoy’s because dark times loomed and an alliance with the Malfoy’s was their only option. Draco didn’t even smile when you said yes, he simply said “good”, though he’d “rather go with Pansy, his father will be happy at least.”

That night you cried, you cried to Hermione as you dreaded the dance to come, you possibly scarred Neville as you burst into tears when he tried to ask you to the ball, saying between laboured breaths that you had no choice, you had to go with Malfoy, Neville tried to understand, he pitied you and was even sadder for you then about his own rejection.

Draco cried too, alone of course, not having his own friend like Hermione to understand him. You could have been that friend if he didn't fuck it up so badly. He cried the night you said no, angrily punching the wall in the bathroom never being taught how to handle his own emotions. He cried the night you said yes as well, he cried because he made eye contact with you when he saw you get a letter in the Great Hall, the frown prominent on your face, the sadness in your eyes as you said the three-letter word to him shortly after. He cried because he knew you deserved better than him but he would never say that out loud, he knew you probably had someone else who would have asked you, someone, who would make you laugh. He hadn’t made you laugh since you were way younger, he hadn’t made you smile, he hadn’t even said one nice thing to you in _years_.

As he thought about it he realized every bad thing between the two of you was his fault, his prejudice, his judgment, his anger that you left him, but maybe he pushed you away. He didn't want to go with Pansy, he would much rather have gone with Blaise before he ever went with Pansy, he just wanted to be mean, it’s all he knew how to do when it came to you lately, he wanted to hurt you the way you hurt him when you said no. Maybe he could try to be nicer at the Yule ball, try at all, he fell to the tiled floor and placed his head in his hands as he admitted to himself, that you deserved better and he wasn’t it.

You had to wear the dark green silk dress your mother sent you, you were not surprised, as you walked into the Slytherin common room, that Draco’s tie was the exact same material. He looked at you for a few moments before averting his gaze and shoving his hands in his pockets. You had decided to make the best of the night, it was weird, awkward and forced as you smiled at him shyly. He wanted to say you looked nice but it had been so long since you looked in his eyes like that, like the little girl he remembered, especially because you look almost scared as you smiled, he wanted to speak but his words escaped his throat as his heart raced in his chest.

“Are you ready?” You asked quietly as people around you in the common room paid no mind to the two of you.

He nodded and swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing as he did. “Okay,” you said quietly to yourself.

You walked down the hallway, his friends loudly following behind, their conversation natural unlike the silence between you and Draco. As you neared the Great Hall, which was decorated for the ball fittingly, he stopped walking. You noticed how his friends just walked past him, paying no attention to him but you stopped and took in the lost expression on his face.

“Draco?” You said it so sweetly, not an ounce of hate between the syllable, he blinked and looked at you. “Are you okay?” You asked innocently as he nodded and then took a second to think before extending you his arm, you wrapped your fingers around his forearm, feeling the expensive material of his suit as he in took a shaky breath before walking into the dance. You broke the ice as you leant closer to him, making his heart almost stop as you said, “You act like you’ve never held my hand before.”

“I haven’t.” He said as he furrowed his brows.

“Oh rubbish, Draco I've known you almost as long as I've known myself, though it doesn't feel like it anymore. I have a picture of us when we were like five holding hands.”

He frowned at that part, the ‘though it doesn't feel like it anymore,” but smiled when he realized you still had pictures of you two.

“You mean to tell me you haven’t burned them all?” He playfully whisper shouted back as the volume of the music playing filled the room.

You took a deep breath as you admitted, “I almost did,” and looked up to meet his eyes.

“I don't blame you.” He said bringing you to sit down, arms still linked together. You earned a few strange looks, a pitied one from Hermione and a confused and almost hurt one from Neville.

“Who do you blame then?” You asked with a bit too much malice in your tone.

That shut him up, he isn't mature enough to admit his wrongdoings, for he still believed he was right about his hateful feelings towards your friends, his hateful yet longing feelings towards you.

He wanted you, but he wanted his idealized version of you and you weren't the type of girl to shut up and comply, he knew that to be true from your last comment.

You sat there quietly for a while, drinking the punch and not really talking after the last thing you said, you didn't regret it though, he needed to know his place.

“Are you going to ask me to dance?” You finally asked and he shook his head.

“I don't dance.”

“Draco, I have seen you dance, I have danced with you before, you can't lie to me, _I know you_.”

“No you don't, and I'm not dancing.”

“Then at least talk to me? We have barely talked in years?” You pleaded, hoping to get something from him.

“I have nothing to say.”

“An apology would be a good start.”

“I have nothing to apologize for.” He said angrily and you crossed your arms in a huff.

After more silence Neville walked up to you and asked you for a dance, he was scared, you would be too if you were him. The girl he wanted to dance with was the date of the person who tormented him, but he was brave, so he extended a hand and you accepted it standing up without muttering a word to Draco.

“Of course I’ll dance with you Neville.” You didn't turn back to see the look of distaste on Draco’s face. After some awkward dancing with the kind Gryffindor boy you felt a tap on your shoulder, you couldn't help but smile as you realized it was Draco.

“Can I cut in?” He asked in a quiet tone you knew he had never used around Neville before.

“Y-Yeah.” Neville stuttered as he let go of your hand and shoulder, going back to dancing with Ginny.

Draco placed a hand on your lower back as he pulled you close, intertwined your fingers as he, much more smoothly than Neville, danced with you.

“See, you do dance.” You smiled as your hand on his shoulder travelled a little toward the back of his neck, feeling his soft skin.

“I dance when you make me.” His jealousy spit out with each word and your smile faded to a frown realizing Draco didn’t dance with you because he gained the courage but because his jealousy overtook him.

“I didn’t make you, I was doing fine without you.”

“With him of all people.”

“Neville is my friend, and I would have gone here with him if I wasn’t forced to go with you.” You confessed with anger ridden words.

“He might be pureblood, but he’s a disgrace, he is a coward, a filthy Gryffindor.” He said loudly gaining the attention of a few people as you let go of him and ran to the hallway. To your dismay, there were people in the hallway to witness the scene as Draco followed you.

“Y/N! Wait, you can’t just leave.” He yelled and you stopped turning around noticing the people watching included Hermione, Ron, Harry and even Neville among others.

“I can do as I please!” You yelled back.

“You do as I say, you belong to me.”

“I don't want you!” You yelled as tears streamed down your face at both embarrassment and the fact that people would now know the truth between you and Draco. “I don't want to marry you.”

“You don't have a choice.” He stood his ground ignoring all the onlookers even though he was hurt deep inside that it was true, you didn't want him.

“No, but I have my freedom until I'm 18, I don't have to be anything to you until then. You are mean, uncaring and a vile person. I don't stand for your beliefs, I don't like the person you turned into at all and I will never be capable of loving you. I will simply be your prisoner but I will never submit to you.” You spat as you harshly hit his chest with an accusing finger before running away. Hermione followed you as Ron and Harry looked horrified, you hadn't told anyone you were arranged to marry Draco except Hermione. Their expressions marked that they were so scared for you, as they looked at Draco with disgust.

Draco had tried to be nice, he really did, but Draco wasn’t used to being nice, he was used to his friends encouraging him to be rude instead. He had sat quietly watching you dance until Pansy came up behind him and attempted to tease him, his anger towards her and watching you dance with someone else, someone more kind and deserving of you, that set him off and he couldn't control his emotions, he never could.

Draco realized all the people that had just witnessed that. This had done more damage to your relationship than anything in the past because now everyone knew, they knew how horrible he was and how sweet you were. He ran to an empty bathroom and cried, he lost you, he had finally done everything he could, messed up everything, and lost you.

You were sixteen when Draco’s father was taken to Azkaban. Draco hadn't acknowledged you since the Yule Ball last year, it was almost the time to go back to Hogwarts for your sixth year there. Draco ignored you all summer, and before summer he didn’t apologize but you were glad he was no longer going out of his way to harass you, he never sat near you in class or lingered in the common room when you were there, he avoided you because it pained him to see you.

It was only the day before you would get on the train, back to Hogwarts and back to barely seeing Draco everyday but seeing him more often than during the summer. You walked up to his house with your mother and father, they had a serious conversation regarding Lucius until Narcissa started crying and your mother hugged her close, she was scared. You thought about how Draco must be feeling so you got up, mostly wanting to remove yourself from this awkward conversation and placed yourself into another. You walked the all too familiar path to Draco’s room and knocked the exact way you did as a kid, 5 knocks and then a pause before you knocked two more times.

Draco was sat in his bed staring at his forearm, he had spent the entire day, his last day of summer, with his aunt Bellatrix learning spells he shouldn't know. He felt the stinging in his arm and tried not to think about the moment he got it. His heart stopped when he heard the familiar sound fill his large room, he wiped his eyes and used his wand to open the door, mostly because he didn't believe it was actually going to be you.

He didn't look up at you so you walked in, it wasn’t much different from the last time you had seen it, just as posh, just as bland.

You crawled up on to the edge of his bed sitting on your knees but keeping your distance.

His one sleeve was pulled down, you could tell he’d been crying, he looked up at you only briefly before averting your gaze. Your kind eyes were too much for him, he didn't deserve you to look at him like that, he deserved the angry eyes from the night of the ball.

“Draco.” You whispered and his frown deepened hearing your sweet voice fill his ears.

He didn’t respond so you tried again edging a bit closer to him on the large bed until you were at his knees which were pulled against his chest, head pressed against his hands resting on them.

“Draco.” This time he looked up at you and his eyes brimmed with tears at your sorrowful expression, you didn't even know the truth as to why he was upset.

“You look like you need a friend.”

“We are hardly friends Y/N.” His voice was hoarse, his throat probably raw from crying.

“Then apologize.” You stated like it was so easy.

“What?” He questioned, looking away as a tear slipped from his eye

“If you need a friend, then apologize, and I know when your lying, if not, then I can leave and pretend like I was never here.”

It took a minute for him to try to think of what to say, so he chose not to think at all, just spill everything he's wanted to say to you. “I’m sorry.” He choked and then apologized for all the times he was mean, for the way he acted, for how he ruined your night at the ball, for the way he pushed you away and found new friends, for the way he felt the world around him change him but never kept you close enough to keep him sane, keep him himself. He paused for a minute as you listened.

“I'm Sorry, I'm so so sorry, I just- I just need you.” He choked as tears streamed down his face faster than he could wipe them away. You pushed his knees down and crawled onto his lap hugging him close to you as he cried onto your shoulder for what felt like hours. He technically lost his dad, he had a terrible task to complete that weighed down on him but he had gotten you back, and he would fight not to lose you.

You were sixteen when you went back to Hogwarts for your sixth year, Draco at your side, not too much of a different Draco, but he promised he would try to change and that was enough for you. You were sixteen when you had to rush to the medical wing to find a bloodied and wet Draco and had to deal with the aftermath because none of his other friends showed up.

You were seventeen when he told you he loved you, when he told you he was scared. Only seventeen when you had to tell the crying boy in front of you that you didn't love him, that you couldn't love who he was right now but promised that someday if he made the right choices you might be able to.

You were sat alone late at night, unsure of what exactly was making him so upset that day. He said it between sobs as you hugged him close, “I love you.” but you didn't respond so he backed up to see your reaction and you just smiled, wiped his tears and told him the truth. “I can’t let myself love you yet.”

He had grown a bit in the past year, he didn't get angry, he didn't curse at you, he just pulled you back in for the hug and whispered.

“When your ready, I’ll be waiting,” he admitted. “And I won’t force you to marry me if I have to wait ten bloody years for you I will.”

You smiled and placed a sweet kiss on his tear-stained cheek. “I think our parents were right when they arranged for us to marry, they must have seen something then.”

“I loved you then too, but I ruined it. A different kind of love.”

“We will get there.” You smiled at him reassuringly, truthful eyes bored into his slightly heartbroken ones, as much as he said he would wait for you, he couldn't help but want you now.

A few short months later, after the battle of Hogwarts you told him you were proud of him, with blood and dirt on your faces and tear-stained cheeks you looked him in his eyes and told him you were proud of his choice.

You were just seventeen when you had to look around at the dead bodies the littered the ground, your heart aching for all your lost friends, lost lives. You intertwined your fingers with his, staying silent for a moment, sadness filling your throat and your lungs, weighing you down, choking you to the point where you almost couldn't speak, but you managed the words “I love you.” You said it like a scared child. You said it like someone who had just nearly kissed death and decided you'd rather Draco be your first kiss instead. You said it the way you had been saying his name recently, with adoration in each letter as you watched him and you both face such trying times. 

His eyes widened, he wasn't okay, hearing you validate your feelings towards him didn't make him forget about everything around him, but at a time where he was so sad he couldn’t think of any words to say, those three came easy in response. “I love you,” he stated matter of factly, unlike last time where he said it with bated breath hoping for a response because it was his turn to respond this time and his heart soared after everything you'd been through you were finally ready to love him.

**Author's Note:**

> HII hoped you liked this really old fic, if ur here from tiktok let me know in the comments!   
> You can find me on tumblr @swellwriting and Wattpad @swellwritingW   
> Thanks for reading <3 <3


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